more+funny+sayings+and+quotes

Funny!!

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.-this one is funny

Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.

You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket... I'd miss you heaps and think of you often.

If you can stay calm while all around you is chaos, then you probably haven't completely understood the situation.

I have all the money I'll ever need - if I die by 4:00 p.m. today.

I don't have an attitude; I have a personality you can't handle.

Don't steal. That's the government's job.

There are two kinds of friends : those who are around when you need them, and those who are around when they need you.

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia: Fear of long words.

They keep saying the right person will come along, I think mine got hit by a truck.

Without ME, it's just AWESO.

Be careful of your thoughts, they may become words at any moment.

Men are like mascara, they usually run at the first sign of emotion.

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?

On electric toasters, why do they engrave the message 'one slice'? How many pieces of bread do they think people are really gonna try to stuff in that slot?

i hope u liked these ones

= D